From the first time I read step # 3 of the 12 step recovery program, I grew uneasy with it.
“Decide to turn your will and your life over to the care of God the Eternal Father and his son Jesus Christ.”
It seemed to be the complete antithesis of all I had been taught about free will and choice. It was always the underpinning law, that even God himself would not violate. How could law number one and step number three be reconcilable? The answer has to do with our understanding of this principle of free choice. I would like to use an analogy, about school buses, to explain.
There are thousands, if not millions, of school buses in the world today. Each has a driver and each has an assignment. The assignment is generally to pick up people in one location and deliver them to another. Millions of people of all ages voluntarily get on these school buses, each knowing and agreeing to go where they will be taken. The destination is generally posted on the front of the bus to avoid confusion, because people normally decide where they want to go long before they arrive at the bus depot.
Choosing where we want to go, or what we want out of life, is very much like waiting for buses at the depot. We each get to decide which school bus we want to get on, then we walk up to the one going to our destination and we get on.
There is the bus to perpetual fun and playing. It doesn’t stop for any responsibility or careful thinking.
There’s a bus to fame and fortune. It has lots of stops to get to know people and make contacts to determine popularity.
There’s a bus to mediocrity. It’s fitted out with lay back pillows and comfortable body shape recliners.
There’s a bus to self-destruction. It has illicit drugs, alcohol, prostitution and pornography.
There’s a bus full of people wanting to go to heaven.
There’s a bus load of people determined to go to hell.
Like I said, there’s millions of buses. They all have smartly uniformed drivers, smiling and full of confidence. All look alike.
Free agency provides us the opportunity to pick where we want to go. Which bus shall we get on? Can we believe the signs or the drivers? How do we know which ones are telling the truth? Is there provision to get off if we change our minds? What about getting switched to another bus if we discover we have made a bad choice, arrive at the wrong destination or need a way to get back home? How do we know? How does anyone get to know?
In life, it isn’t always easy to get off the bus we chose to get on. Many buses don’t stop to let passengers disembark. When you got on the bus, you gave up your right to make a choice.
Other buses only go a short distance before they change the rules and everybody has to get off, even though they paid to go to the destination shown on the front of the bus.
Other drivers change the destination and literally hijack the passengers. That wasn’t the destination you bought a ticket for. What can you do then? Kick out the door and jump? You didn’t sign up to get hurt. You especially don’t want to hurt others.
For those whose lives have been taken over by drugs or other nasty addictions, it feels the same as being hi-jacked. You’re not just on the wrong bus, but now it’s getting harder to get off by the minute. You no longer have any control about where you are going or what speed you are going at. Someone is going to get hurt as long as you stay on board. You are screaming to get off. But how?
There is good news and bad news. The longer you stay on, the faster the bus goes, the harder it is to get off and the more it hurts to do so. The good news is, you have a smart phone. Everyone has a smart phone! You can reach out and get help. It’s probably the last and only free will you have left. Yet getting off safely is not something you can do by yourself.
When you find yourself in a position where you cannot do anything to help yourself, no matter what your addiction may be, know this: God will answer the phone and assure you he is coming to rescue you with his bus. He is the driver and you can get on. Use the agency still in your control, get off the bus, and get on his.
That’s the closest situation to which I can liken the statement: “Decide to turn your will and your life over to God and his son Jesus Christ.”
By doing this we are stating: “Yes, this is what I want to do. His bus is going where I wanted to go in the first place. I will place my trust in him. I am stuck and too weak from struggling to get there by myself. Until I am stronger, I will put my will, my life and my soul in his care.”
We are literally accepting God’s way as better than ours and we accept it voluntarily. We do it by exercising our free agency – not by giving it up. He will return the gift of agency to us when we decide we have become both more experienced and wiser than we presently are.
Free agency is the right to choose for ourselves. We choose what bus we get on. We choose to change when we have made mistakes. We choose to get on the Lord’s bus when we realize we cannot get where we want to go any other way.
I get it now: It is my choice. There will be many different buses and bus drivers in my life. Before I get on another bus, I will check to see who the bus driver is. By my choice, I will make it to my destination.
– Doug Garrett