Observations
Working in the field of addiction recovery has been an venture into a world of human behaviour that has been both illuminating and sobering. (No pun intended.)
Illuminating because the spectrum from compulsive behaviour to debilitating dependency includes so many different faces. It has made me question much more inclusively what an addiction really is.
It is also sobering because the shocking evidence reveals just how damaging and disruptive the problem is to the addict, their family, friends, co-workers and employers.
While it is true, unless the addict is compelled by law for a criminal offense, the choice of attending a recovery program is voluntary and at the discretion of the addict. But very soon the addict discovers there is an expiry date on his/her ability to control the addiction. It can be very deceptive. If he/she does not use it quickly, the choice is reduced or may disappear entirely. Even with the addict’s most brilliant thinking and most clever schemes the problem becomes worse, not better. So if there is to be any hope of recovery, he/she must be prepared to turn themselves and their will over to powers greater than their own: 1/ Government or non- government programs (assuming they are available), and 2/ the even higher power, God, without whom all programs for recovery will not be long term.
Let me list the typical phases of recovery:
1/ Denial:
This phase is marked by a vehement display by the addict to deny there is a problem. Instead of acknowledging the need to change, all energy and action is redirected to place the problem on others, especially their accusers.
As an example the accused may exclaim: “ I don’t see where there is a problem and most certainly it is not me. I think most of the problem is you. If you would stop the nagging and criticizing, the problem would go away.”
2/ Limited recognition, but no desire to change:
This phase is accompanied by the willingness to accept that there could be a problem, but for the most part it is just “normal behaviour” and it is under control. If it should ever become a real problem, the person would of course do something about it immediately. In the meantime he/she is happy with things the way they are.
3/ No longer denying the problem, but still have no motivation to change:
The evidence becomes so obvious that the addict finds it impossible to deny. However, they either postpone seeking help or fail to follow through on their promises to get it. Expect statements like, “I definitely will look at changing in the new year.” Or, “When I get a job that isn’t so stressful, I’ll give up my addiction.” Usually it takes a major event like an accident, getting arrested or being caught in the act, to motivate them to actually take action.
4/ Sufficient confessions and embarrassments leads to sincere motivation to change:
This is the phase where the individual will be most likely to respond. Having been shamed and caught so many times, they are now seriously prepared to take action for change.
5/ Has made and is keeping promises for recovery, however regularly requires exterior pressure to sustain those commitments:
At this point the individual is not indulging in his/her addiction, but is constantly struggling and thinking about it. They still have to master the thoughts and habits of those who have achieved success. They may still be associating with their old friends and visiting old sites where they practiced addictions. They have frequent relapses and need others to help them stay committed.
6/ Recovery – The individual has bridled his addictive indulgences:
New and better habits have helped the individual to make smarter choices. They no longer think about or are control by their addiction. They have become reliable and predictable.
7/ Has discovered the joy of providing unselfish service to others:
True recovery is accompanied by a strong desire to help others avoid or overcome their addictions. Their involvement with others is also a strong motivation for them to retain their new status reputation.
– Doug Garrett